2013 IN REVIEW #Daaaamnnnn

As 2013 rolls to an end, I thought I'd revive the blog to post a wrap up of my crazy year.  I know I'm a big slacker and haven't written in 6 months, but better late than never, right? ;)

This year has definitely been a roller coaster of dates, almost-relationships, canoodling, crazy exes, lovely new friends, and much more -- ok, so it may not have ended up the way I thought it would, but I don't think it would be me if shit hadn't shaken out the way it did.  I learned a hell of a lot about myself, what I really want, what I really DON'T want -- and so what if it meant I kissed a lot of frogs (hot frogs, but frogs nonetheless)??

So what happened this year? Here goes...

• Started off 2013 with an AWESOME date on January 1st with a gorgeous hockey player
• A week later, he took me on a super romantic date and had my first super romantic make-out at Bloor/Yonge Station. lol
• When it didn't work out with that guy, started dating another guy with the same name who also used to be a hockey player. Yeah, it was confusing for my friends.
• Sometime in February, I went out with an actor (recapped in this post) and to this day, it still makes me chuckle to think about how awkward that date was.  I also went on 2 dates in 1 day in February -- short month, I had to.
• March brought the Divorcee disaster of 2013 - that lasted on and off for a while...til like July. Until one last date that was supposed to happen, dude legit texted me a thousand times then cancelled 1 hour before because his friend had to come over to 'hide from the cops'. Um. No thanks. #buhbye.
• April was lovely hip hop dancer dude.  Such a sweet guy who still messages every now and again, and it continues to make me feel bad about not being as good a dancer. My friends think this guy is super hot -- which he is -- sadly, I'm just not into it.
• In May I met Army Dude, we dated, it was good times and then he disappeared.  Only to reappear in September, when we went on a few dates and I realized it was better when he disappeared. Camo does wonderful things.
• May also brought back the ultimate boomerang boy aka Kryptonite.  Though I never hung out with the dude (thank goodness), he still really enjoyed calling, texting, messaging about a million times. Ugh.  It's been radio silence from him for at least the past 2 months. Thank goodness for small wonders.
• I also tried to take a break from men in May. It didn't last very long.
• In June, one of my besties got hitched and I was lucky enough to be one of the bridesmaids. Around the same time, another boomerang boy came out of the woodwork from 2012. It was hilarious.
• July meant shorts, mini dresses and tanning.  It was also when I started dating Runner guy, who was super sweet - also just not my guy.  Lasted til mid-August, but I just felt more friends than anything.
• I don't want to talk about late August and early September because it was a recycle that was ultimately a let down, so yeah. Just not gonna talk about it.
• Back to school also meant back to Army Dude. Also just wasn't into it, which meant it was ok when I didn't hear from him. So. Yeah. BUT, I also started seeing Personal Trainer #1 who told me amazing stories from Thailand where he was a boxer and showed me super cool music videos. He still texts me to this day, I probably should tell him I'm not into it anymore. Hmm.
• Sometime in late September, I felt the need to pack my calendar with activities -- so in one particular week, I went on 4 dates with 3 different guys.  It was exhausting. I haven't recovered. 
• October and early November was Personal Trainer #2. I fell for this dude, hard....so much in common but also SO NOT MY TYPE.  I think that got in the way for me, ultimately -- great canoodling, but I also realized he didn't actually listen to what I said (which clearly hurt my feelings because I require a lot of attention), so there goes that.
• December brought Bun Guy -- yes, I think dudes with long hair who put it in buns are so hot. I don't know why, I just do.  And it's so funny because I went from a bald guy to a guy with hair longer than me, but whatever.  ANYWAY.  So he is emotionally unavailable, and literally ran away from my house at 9:30 at night, which still makes me laugh.

Omg, what a year.  I don't even know how I will have energy for 2014, but dammit am I looking forward to it.  Cheers to a new year, y'all!

xo,

Mel

#twilighttuesday 2K13

So last year, my best friend and I coined the term 'Twilight Tuesday' (and no, it has nothing to do with the teenie bopper vamp movie/books...as in 'Twilight Zone') because randomly all of the craziest things seemed to happen to both of us on a series of Tuesdays throughout the year.  It ranged from bizarre twists that happened at work or just some out of the ordinary things that would happen with our fam and friends, but then the term ended up applying to our relationships.  For me, it obviously tied back a number of times to those pesky Boomerang Boys that I talk so much about.

One example of a specific Twilight Tuesday happened last summer.  I had been dating this guy, we'll call him Basketball Ted -- giant dude, 6'7, obviously used to play basketball in college, and now worked in the Financial District.  We had gone on like 3 dates and had been talking non-stop via message every day, and this particular Tuesday we had plans to go on a date.  And of course, I did not hear from him at all that day so he obviously was ditching my ass (spoiler alert, he eventually became a Boomerang Boy earlier this year).  So then, my bestie being as awesome as she is, came to my rescue and we went out to a patio together.  Well, we had the most random and fun night -- turning lemons into lemonade, baby!  We saw some NHLers on the patio, had some fruity beverages, and then out of NOWHERE this guy that I had dated  before my #Kryptonite ex messaged me.  Doctor Dave was this super cool guy who lived close to me and we got along super well, but because of timing (he was a resident at the time) our schedules never matched and we didn't really get to go out all that often.  In fact, he'd randomly call me from the on-call room at like 2 AM, but after a while that's not as much fun as actually seeing the dude.  So anyway, does he not call me and then we catch up for like an hour on the phone!? So interesting.  All because of this random #TwilightTuesday.

 Well ladies & gents, today is another of those Tuesdays.  Goalie Boy is this guy that I had dated at the beginning of the year - in fact we spent New Year's Day together - and we really had such amazing chemistry.  He took me on a super romantic date to Second City and I had a teenage moment with him, totally making out on the DWA at Bloor Station. (Seriously, who does that??) Anyway, after a while things fizzled with him as well, and we would keep messaging back and forth, but nothing ever really came of out.  Cut to the past couple of days, where he's been messaging me randomly.  And not the creepy, 'let's hook up!' type of messages, but actual conversations back and forth. Totally unexpected.  Well, so we do a little textual flirting back and forth:  basically he calls me sexy and I tell him that he's totes hot, and obviously he knows it.  He replies, 'Thank you, that puts a huge smile on my face' and I go, 'haha, whatever you know you're a babe!' and he goes 'well I know I'm not hideous, but I've never been called that before'...um, wha???  So then I go 'well, you are. so embrace it!' and he goes 'how am I a babe, Mel?' and then asks me after that 'Anything I need to improve?'

Ok. What?  Like I said. #TwilightTuesday

Frustration station #argh

So, this past weekend I had another boomerang situation.  And honestly, I am getting a little tired of it -- it is SO frustrating.  Why do guys always decide randomly out of nowhere that it's cool to come back to stir shit up?  Guaranteed if I EVER did that to any of exes, I'd totally be written off as crazy, but for them it's just no big deal -- how completely selfish of them!

Let me backtrack.  Last year I had dated...well let me put it in quotes, 'dated'...this guy who I thought 100% was the most intriguing, gorgeous, interesting, intense person ever.  He had a really interesting life story, played college bball and was unbelievably sexy (heyyy, tattoos).  I can't even create a name for him because he was so many random things, it's hard to classify! Well, little did I know that he had also dated a friend of a friend a few years back, and had been a total jerk to her - not just then, but a few years later after they'd been broken up for years.  So, of course my lovely friend warned me about his douchery, but also let me figure out for myself what I needed to.  Well, like a zebra doesn't change his stripes, a dbag doesn't lose his douchery even after a few years.  Anyway, after a roller coaster of emotions and total 'non-dating' for almost 6 months -- seriously, so much drama I couldn't even handle it -- it eventually just fizzled.  Last October, I ran into him randomly at Yonge-Dundas Square legit crossing the street, we gave each other the  head nod and kept walking -- and that was the last time I'd seen him.  He deleted me from Facebook as well.

So out of nowhere he messages me this weekend to say 'hey, we lost touch. say hello sometime.'

ARGH.

Intrigued I message back and we do the little banter dance back and forth.  Then I finally get the real reason he was messaging...oh yeah, how obvious is this.  He wanted to know if I'd be down for a 'cuddle and a catch up'...very polite way of saying a hook-up, but the same sentiment nonetheless.

NO I DO NOT WANT TO CUDDLE AND CATCH UP.

GO CUDDLE YOURSELF.

ARGH.

The end.

ARGH.

Obviously I'm a sucker.

So remember how I was telling y'all about Military Guy a couple of weeks ago?  If you don't, basically what happened is that I thought he was a really cool, hilarious guy -- not exactly my type, but I was completely attracted to his personality, and was willing to overlook the physical (not that he was uggo or anything, haha just not my super tatted up jock type).  ANYWAY, he legit went MIA. And then texted me for a booty call.  Um, no thanks, not my style. So when I said 'NO' to him coming over, I thought that would be the last of it.

I clearly do not realize that I'm usually wrong.

Out of nowhere today I get a text from him.  Again, he said something to the effect of 'how can I hang out with you if you never reply to my texts?'  Deja vu.  THEN, when I don't respond, because I'm at the gym and my phone is chilling in my locker he messages me again -- this time it's 'ok, I get the hint. It was great hanging out with you. Hope to see you around pretty lady :)'

This is where I've found that I'm obviously a sucker.

I clearly respond because that message made me feel bad.  I HATE when guys go MIA, and I would typically always reply to guys, even if it is to decline politely or say, sorry I just don't think we're a good fit...or something like that.  But I just hate the thought of someone thinking that I'm a bitch or rude on purpose - I don't ever mean to be, and I also don't want that bad karma.  BUT seriously, I never got any texts -- what is the likelihood these days that you don't get a text someone sends? Come on, I'm not stupid.  And to be honest, I was really just upset that my ego was bruised. I actually don't even want to entertain the possibility of seeing him again.  He ain't for me...gotta say, there's a type for a reason.

But of course he blames his phone for acting up.

Y'all. Can you see how I'm so frustrated?  Like this is the junk that I have to deal with!  SERIOUSLY.

In hiding...(#hideme)

3 weeks.

In 3 weeks there are a LOT of things that will happen: Chantelle & Brent's wedding; my trip to Cuba with cousink Alex; and then, of course, my birthday.

Every year when I think of my birthday, I always think things will be vastly different from the year before.  While a lot of random things have happened in between birthdays, nothing has changed hugely from last year.    So maybe it's time to figure out what I can do to make a change?

3 weeks isn't much time, but maybe I can kick start it after I get back from my trip?

Really what I want to do is go in hiding.  I'm not joking.  I am so frustrated with dating these days.  For the past couple of weeks a lot of random guys have come out of the wood work, seemingly leading to some interesting and positive prospects.  Really, I just got super let down by them.  That said, I legit just think it'll be better of for me to steer clear of all guys -- old and new -- for the next month and see what happens?

While I'm not usually a proponent of hiding from things -- I'm more of a face the challenge and learn from it type of gal -- I think this is probably the best approach for me.  Dudes are getting me down, and I just want my birthday month to be full of fun, great memories, amazing friends.  Am I crazy for wanting to hide?

When is too soon to be introduced to a dude's friends?

So, when you're just starting to date someone new, when is an appropriate time to introduce the guy or girl to your friends?  Is there really an appropriate time?

To me, I've always thought it's somewhat of a big deal to intro a new suitor to my friends -- I try to avoid it, because let's face it, my friends are judgy. Lol, no I mean, they just want the best for me, so I think they tend to be critical of the guys I date and I do love them for it.  However, because of the kind of guys that I like, I sometimes just know that the poor guy will not be received well...or my friends will just be super nice and tell me after the relationship has crashed and burned how the poor guy was just not a good guy.

Anyway, the reason I ask about this is because I just wonder how big of a deal is it.  Do guys think it's a big thing to introduce friends to girls they're seeing, or is it their way to see how they'll hold up against the friend test?

So, a couple of months ago I went on my second date with Divorcee dude and I was introduced to his best friends that night -- like, I was NOT expecting to be thrown into that situation so soon.  Then last night, I went on an interesting date -- I was introduced to the guy's roommates, who happen to be 2 girls.  Which was totally cool, they were super fun chicks and I got along really well with them.  Then when we went out, I was then introduced to some of the dude's good friends.  Like, the entire time I was thinking, 'what has he told them about me?'

Pretty much that's my biggest hang up about the entire meeting-friends-so-soon thing.  What are they telling their friends about you at that point?  I mean, the friends on both occasions were actually all so welcoming and sweet, and let's face it - I work in PR, I can pretty much talk to anyone about anything, so there's not much to worry about on my end.  But for me, on the second or third date, you yourself aren't sure what you really feel about that other person yet, and then throwing friends into the mix I think complicates situations entirely.

I don't know -- I just think a second or third date is a bit too soon!  I want to be all melty and excited about spending time with that guy on those first few dates.  There's plenty of time to meet friends if that person is going to stick around.  Shouldn't it be something that you ease them into?

Just my two cents. What do y'all think?

No thanks. Buh bye.

So it turns out Military guy's only reason for messaging me last night was for a booty call.   No, sorry, I would not like 'for a visit from a guy in uniform' at midnight on a Wednesday.  Thanks, I'm good.

Seriously??

How do you go from someone who seems like the most unassuming and tamest of men to a giant doucher?  Well, obviously I was very easily fooled, and he was clearly a jerk all along.  And here I was thinking I had matured by not going for someone solely due to matching my 'type' or swooning over muscles and tattoos.  Dudes are going to be douchers undercover no matter how you package them up!

I will say that I'm so glad I got the last word and got to reject his requests.  My last message was just "NO".  What a dirt bag.  No thank you. #buhbye.

ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME??

Y'all.

My life is legit a soap opera.

So remember how I had posted about how Military guy had ACTUALLY gone MIA on me?  Amidst all of my drama-rama around the ex-boyfriend  (aka #kryptonite) -- with me contemplating if I should or should not message him, running through the various pros and cons in my head, and consulting all of my friends about what I should do -- do I not get a random text message from Military guy?!  AND...he had the balls to say, "How am I supposed to make you my next secret mission if you never get back to any of my texts? lol"  UMMMMM....excuse me, I'm pretty sure you have ignored me for a week.  I have not received a peep from him, and he's gonna go and play like I'm the one not getting back to him. PLEASE CHILD.  I was not born yesterday.  If you're gonna go MIA and try to get back in the game, at least OWN UP to the shady missing stage. #dbag

AND of course, after all the aforementioned contemplation and consultation, I did reply to the ex.  OK, STOP JUDGING ME!!!!!!!!!!  Anyway, I asked him WHY? Basically, I wanted to know why he wanted a fresh start -- we had tried before, and it didn't work out.  I asked what's changed.....

His response?  "You're right. I'm sorry."

ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?!

That is not an answer. What a cop out.  My response to him?  "That's all you got?  Ok.  Obviously nothing HAS changed." #boom

Listen people, I  know you're shaking your heads at me saying I shouldn't have messaged him, but I have to tell you -- I'm glad I did.  I owed it to myself to see.  And hey, it showed what I have known for the past 2 years anyway...kid hasn't changed one bit. UGH.

#kryptonite

Ok, so y'all know that I have a history of boys repeating on me. You know the type, those Boomerang Boys who come back out of nowhere when you least expect it and disrupt your lives, mess with your head and just make you crazy.  UGH. So frustrating.  Frustrating because I just want to say "LEAVE ME ALONE" and "GET THE HELL AWAY!" but then it becomes the vicious cycle, right? Like the minute you do say those things, that's when they take the communication to mean an open door to even MORE communication -- just when you really want them to actually go away and leave you alone.

Well, folks, last night my kryptonite came back out of the woodwork.  I had previously mentioned him in my first post on this blog again (first bullet point), so you guys get an idea of what he's like.  Comes back every few months when it is convenient for him, or when he has some issue that he thinks I will be able to fix, wreaking havoc and messing with my head.  Another vicious cycle that has been happening for the past 2 years. 2 years!!! 

A few weeks back, I just snapped when he messaged me out of the blue at 4 AM, oh yeah...after having come over to my place and calling me like 20 times.  So I finally just decided I needed  to do something, because obviously my completely ignoring him wasn't sinking in.  It was SO tough for me but I just wrote him this message essentially telling him that he was being completely inappropriate and how he treats me is so disrespectful and most of all selfish -- I am, afterall, NOT his girlfriend anymore. Get the hell away.  So after I had sent it, I felt this huge weight off my shoulders -- like a sigh of relief after holding my breath for the past 2 years.  But it was also a bit sad for me because he was a guy I had really been in love with, and I thought that this message would definitely signify the end of his contacting me.

Well, I guess I was freaing wrong about that.  Out of nowhere he messages me again last night.  This time, asking me for a 'fresh start'.  A chance again. UGH.

Like I said, he's my kryptonite.  I KNOW I should just either ignore it, or repeat the message I had so carefully worded last time around but perhaps with a 'FUCK OFF' thrown in for good measure.  BUT part of me is getting all melty inside...remembering all the reasons I fell in love with him to begin with, and clearly completely forgetting about all the crazy shit he put me through that broke us up.

WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?

SERIOUSLY.

HELP!

Consumer Campfire! #SmoresSAMabration

I'm lucky enough to work somewhere that takes pride in fostering a great corporate culture for its employees.  As part of it, each month the Senior Account Managers put together a little treat for the Consumer Team to help celebrate timely occasions as well as thank everyone for all the awesome work that they do everyday.  I selected May to be my month, and together with my fellow SAM Lynn, we decided to put together a May 2-4 themed treat.  Inspired by the first long weekend of the 'summer season' and cottaging, we thought we'd continue the celebrations by organizing a S'mores themed SAMabration!  Check out the photos below -- we took over the lobby and brought gourmet S'mores from MoRoCo, S'mores cupcakes from Sullivan and Bleeker, S'mores vodka to mix with yummy hot chocolate and marshmallows, and finally the most giant marshmallows EVER.

We also happen to have a super cool fireplace in our lobby, so we cranked it up and got our S'mores on.  Woot! #ConsumerCampfire #SmoresSAMabration

#songsofsummer - Next to Me // Emeli Sande

Next to Me by Emeli Sande

Long weekend fun

Happy Victoria Day, y'all!

Hope everyone enjoyed the sun and gorgeous weather.  I cannot wait for every day to be this lovely.  Summer always seems to bring the best out in everyone, and the streets of Toronto seem to be happier all around.  I absolutely love long weekends, and am looking forward to the rest of them this year!

Here are some shots from this weekend's activities at the Beaches and on roof top patios.

Boy Free Zone = #nodrama

Happy May 2-4, y'all :) Hope everyone's enjoying the sun!

This weekend has been relatively drama free, probably because it's been a bit of a 'boy free zone'.  I did have a couple dates planned, but one cancelled due to illness and well, the other I'll save for a future post.   It's interesting how much the drama level increases once boys are thrown into the mix -- hmm, think maybe that means THEY'RE the drama queens, and I'm totally even-keeled and normal!  lol, ok well I will keep telling myself that at least.

What a difference a week makes!  Literally at this time last week, I was hanging out with Military guy and everything was cupcakes and sunshine.  I was having the best time - genuinely being so attracted to his personality and sense of humour much more than his physicality.  And if you know me, even just a little bit, y'all know that I very much have a type that I don't typically stray from; so for me, this felt like I was growing up.  Well, he went MIA -- oh well, guess I'll just drink all the beer he left in my fridge.  Ok, maybe I won't but maybe I'll invite other people to,lol.  Ugh, dating baffles me -- just when I think I totally got it and know what I'm doing, I get thrown for a loop.  Thanks for keeping me on my toes there, Universe!

So instead of hanging out with a couple of the guys that I thought I would be this weekend, I took a bit of a forced detox.  I gotta say, I'm glad it happened (everything happens for a reason and all), because I am realizing that I'm not only getting jaded, but the excitement is lost on me.  Perhaps stacking the deck and playing the odds and going on so many dates has made me lose the spark.

Maybe instead of looking at it as a Dating Detox, I should look at it as a way to bring the thrill back into the experience.  Or at least to my perspective of the experience.  I gotta start getting excited for dates...and maybe it means I gotta be way more selective in who I accept dates from.

So, what do y'all think?  Shall I rekindle my love affair with dating, or legit just be way more selective with the guys?

#backupguys

Do y'all have them?

I think the common definition is a guy who is usually more than a friend but less than a relationship, someone you keep on backup when you need them.  Sounds horrible doesn't it?  Like when all else fails, call your backup guy and he'll make you feel better -- he won't be your Mr. Right, but he'll boost your ego and distract you from that jerk that you REALLY like who treated you like crap.

Ok, so I don't have one specific 'backup guy', but what I have noticed through all my dating disasters lately is that I've been getting over the jerks pretty quickly (obviously after some major dramatics to my friends, and a lot of questioning about wtf happened to guy x or guy y...but pretty quickly nonetheless) because I'm easily distracted by other random boys that I've gone on dates with, and have gotten along with, but don't really LIKE LIKE.  I mean, they're totally cute and very sweet boys, but just not the one I want to hear from.  You know?  And it got me to thinking a little bit  -- are these backup boys helpful or hurtful to me?

In the grand scheme of things, yes, it's great that I'm able to bounce back quickly.  For example, after the horrible date at the Motorcycle & Tattoo show with Divorcee (who I had dated over a month) when he ignored me for 2 weeks (only to message me again after I returned from my trip to Chicago), I had ended up rekindling things with a guy (let's call him Dancer Dude) I had met 2 months prior and even ended up going out on 2 dates with him within those 2 weeks Divorcee was ignoring me.  So obviously when Divorcee texted me again out of nowhere, I was essentially unfazed because I was being distracted by Dancer Dude.  Then, when things with Dancer Dude slowed down a bit due to his work schedule, I had already gone on another couple of dates with Military guy.  Now that Military guy is being all jerky and MIA, I've gone ahead and schedule a couple of dates next week with some other folks (Dancer Dude has asked to be scheduled in as well).  Endless cycle of backup guys.

But at some point, being distracted by the backup guys is really just a mind trick -- and I'm going to run out of the backup guys to keep distracting me at some point!  So what happens then?  Do I recycle? Because inevitably, based on previous experience with the BOOMERANG BOYS that I date, I'll end up with some sort of drama from an 'ex' who had decided he wants to canoodle again.

So, what do y'all think - is the reliance on backup guys a help or a hindrance?  Or is it TRULY time for a Dating Detox?

It's seriously just 'research'

I love social media. Think about it, with Facebook and Twitter, I can keep up with friends and family all over the world with a quick click -- I know all the people getting married, having babies, getting married for the second time, having their second babies...in fact, I think I know more about these people now because of social media than I think I ever knew about them when I was closer to them.  I'm able to keep up with everyone and their updates so easily because it's all just there in my news feed. Even with new friends and new people you meet, it's so great to be able to connect on Facebook or Twitter and instantly keep in touch.  So easy, so much information, so good! Right...?

Except when it comes to the guys I'm dating. Why?  Because for some reason, becoming connected via social media - typically Facebook - all of a sudden exacerbates my crazy.  Seriously.  Facebook makes me a stalker, and I rationalize it by calling it 'research'.  Except it really just makes me insane.  Legit.

So recently, this guy I was dating decided to add me to Facebook.  We went on a number of dates and it was very promising because it had spanned around a month-ish, so I thought, ok, we're cool, Facebook should totally be fine.  Well, I was wrong.  It turned me into this creeper. Clicking on his profile, going through his wall comments, clicking from one photo to the other....it made me speculate as to who all the people were who were commenting, especially the girls.  Like why all of a sudden did I become an irrational person who would curse out loud "Jessica, who is Jessica and why is she posting all of these YouTube videos on your wall?! I HATE JESSICA!"  My mind immediately went there -- I had already villainized poor Jessica and turned her into this man-stealing skank -- when really she could've been his 22 year-old cousin who was studying to be a nun.  But of course, dramatic as I am, naturally there was no talking me down from this crazy.

In an effort to save my sanity, I decided to make it so all updates from him were always hidden.  Ignorance is bliss afterall.  Sanity restored!

Which was awesome because things eventually went south, and the 'relationship' went from promising to clearly nonexistent.  To this day, he still randomly comments on things or 'likes' them, but I am a happy little hampster who hasn't come across a photo, status update or post, and I'm totally fine with it.  So, the guy after this one also added me to Facebook, but for some reason I was 10 levels less crazy, and really didn't do much creeping, other than to check out some profile photos.  Ok, full disclosure, dude also has 95% of his posts in another language...but still, give me a little win here. lol

Anyway, fast forward to now.  New guy I'm dating has very little social footprint.  I'm talking super hidden Facebook profile, no Twitter at all, barely anything when I Google him.  And it's not because he's not up with the times or he has some deep-seated hatred against social media.  He just has a job where it is better all around for him to have very little presence, and I respect that.  Except when the curious little cat inside me wants to check him out a little bit more.  Like, what are his friends saying on his wall?  What kind of pics does he have up? What does his older sister and her hubby look like?  All things I wonder, but I can't really find out -- like back in the day -- until we get to the point where he shares it with me.  See, the way social media works is great, but it also makes all of your information and details about you just remain out there in the world for people to find.  Whatever happened to finding out all of these great things organically FROM the person you're friends with/or dating, rather than creeping and knowing ahead of time?

I guess what I'm saying is that, my natural compulsion - like everyone else's - is to creep and get some insider info right away, but it's actually really refreshing that I cannot do that right now.  Instantly, it'll make me seem less 'crazy' and best of all, it won't drive me insane with every 'like' or wall comment from a girl.  Yes, I realize it's 2013 and guys are allowed to have multiple friends who are girls.  I just don't want to know about them.  Cross your fingers that this one sticks, people, because so far so good -- I already have a leg up in this inability to 'stalk' so, let's hope it all continues to go as well....

Omg, he's soooo famous!

OMG, y'all!

So in February, I went out with this super tall and muscle-bound, tatted up dude....um, big surprise.  If you know me, you know I have a type and this guy was pretty much the epitome of it.  That is...until I went out with him.  Up until the date, we had texted a lot back and forth, and he seemed down to earth and like a funny kid.  He even texted me a countdown to the date throughout the day...starting at 7 hours and sent a cute happy face every couple of hours as they passed.  How could you not get all melty at that, right?

Well....what seemed so promising quickly went spiraling down the toilet the minute he opened his car door and started driving.  I immediately crack jokes about how I'm probably taller than him (clearly super false because dude was a good foot taller than me, but my funny way to tease a dude) and have bigger muscles than him (again, clearly false times 1000 because dude was jacked like whoa).  But um...yeah, he didn't think my jokes were funny...so I kinda sat there just listening to him tell me random things as we drove to our destination   

We had planned on going bowling and just being silly.  What ended up happening is he wanted to go to VIP bowling lanes (did you know this existed? I sure did not) at this place near Yorkdale and when we arrived the VIP lanes were obviously filled up with teenage boys and girls getting their bowl on (as they would on a typical Saturday night), and there was no room for us.  Again, because dude was a good foot taller, each stride he took was like 5 of mine, which inevitably had him walking about 5 paces ahead of me.  Um, awkward.  And then as I ran full tilt through the bowling alley in my heels to catch up with him, I overheard some teeny bopper go "OMG THAT DUDE IS SO BIG!" as they passed by him.  Seriously teens, inside voices. 

Ok, so since our plans were kiboshed, he decides to take me to Milestones for some grub.  Sweet, because at that point I was dying for a wine, a giant vat of wine.  So we sit down, and y'all I kid you not, he proceeds to tell me how famous he is.  And this being Toronto, I'm intrigued because there are a lot of shows filmed here and I have run into a fair amount of actors from shows here and there. So, for a good 2.5 hours, I sat through him telling me how he's been in such and such movie with such and such super A list actor...how A list actor is really a doucher and how he's probably going to get turned into an action figure and how paps already follow him around because people know him. He's kinda a big deal.  Except remove the word 'kinda' and replace it with 'fucking coolest, and that's probably what he was thinking. So, clearly, as this was unfolding, my head was trying to wrap around the fact that I did not recognize him from television....like not even a little...AT ALL.  And if you know me, you know that I  legit watch super random shows including CBC Canadian shows that only 2.5 people watch and I can be your personal IMDb filmography guide.  BUT SERIOUSLY. I HAD NO IDEA WHO THIS DUDE WAS.  AND HE WAS ACTING LIKE HE WAS GEORGE EFFING CLOONEY. 

I don't think he asked me one question.   As soon as he was done his meal, I jumped out of the booth and ran into the car.  I probably held my breath the entire time just to see if I could pass out and not have to listen to him.  So he gets to my place, and I legit unbuckled my seat belt before he stepped on the brakes, threw the door open and yelled something like "that was fun, byeee" and JUMPED out the door.  Omg, so horbs.  BUT THEN I GET A TEXT MSG 15 MINUTES LATER WITH A PHOTO OF HIM AND SOME ACTOR (who I did recognize because he was a legitimate famous actor).  Haha, needless to say, I didn't reply...

CUT TO TONIGHT....

I just got home from a super long, but super productive work day.  I flop on the couch, turn the tv on and LO AND FREAKING BEHOLD.  I catch a commercial teaser for some show on Channel 39...and HOLY SHIT, it's super famous tall dude!  He was not shitting me...he's on the television.  Ok, I didn't actually doubt that he was an actor. I just didn't think he was sooooooooooooo famous.  Lol, guess in his head he was??

Bahaha, oh man.

Take a peek

Pics from ladies' night out @ Dbar in the Four Seasons this past Saturday. 

#boomerangboys

Everyone has one.  That ex that no matter how hard you try to shake 'em, they keep coming back. And coming back. Oh, and coming back.  One night over drinks we coined the term 'boomerang boys' to describe these guys...mostly because in my particular case, it's EVERY GUY that I have EVER dated.  Ok, maybe that's an exaggeration, but I would say probably 95% of the dudes I've dated decide they want to get back with me anything from weeks to months to years to decades after they dated me (see this post, bullet point #1 for an example).  Um...why?? I don't get it.  What is it that keeps them coming back? Why did they not realize when they were WITH me how awesome I am? (lol)  Why do they think it's OK for them to keep coming back?  So many questions. #mystery

Another question: Why am I bringing this up?  Well, at 9:25 PM I received a text message from a dude that I went on ONE date with like 2 months ago.  He said: "Well.  I'm assuming you didn't lose your phone twice!"

Ok, so no, obviously I didn't lose my phone.  And I feel for the kid, I really do, because this is totally a tactic that I would use if I wanted to hear from someone I haven't spoken to in a while.  But being on the receiving end of this one text in particular, it made me feel kinda bad -- like, obviously I don't want to be an asshole and not reply (my mom always taught me to be nice), but at the same time, I don't really want to chat with him or hang out with him, so I don't really feel like I should reply because it would end up being really annoying and innocuous back and forth which I know will lead nowhere.  And I honestly don't want to lead this dude on -- he's a super nice guy, very interesting, and very smart, but there was just no chemistry.  And I'm a sucker for going on chemistry (which is going to be a post soon, keep an eye out).

So what would y'all do in this situation -- would you write him back to be nice? Or risk more boomeranging by replying? #dilemma

#saywhat?

So as y'all can tell by the title of my blog alone, I'm a girl from Georgia who moved up to Toronto more than 5 years ago.  Having grown up in Atlanta, I obviously have lots of roots in the South - friends and family and history back home.  As part and parcel of that history, I have a number of exes who live in and around the Southeast region.  Makes sense, right?  Well, what doesn't make sense is that these exes 1) like to get back in touch with me constantly and 2) continue to ask me to see them again (whether it's them visiting me or me visiting them).  Is this a normal occurrence out there in the world? Or is this literally just a me thing?  Because I gotta say, i just don't get it...why waste time contacting someone who you'd legitimately need a valid passport to visit? Seriously dudes...#saywhat?

 

Oh hello again...and what do you think?

Ok, so it's been a while since I've been on this lil darlin' of a blog, and I was a bit nervous to jump back into the swing of things, BUT recent life experiences (read: boys...) have prompted me to revisit.  So here I am, sitting on my couch watching Big Rich Atlanta and my phone is blowing up with random messages and texts...and I thought now is as good a time as any to get to sharing my insane soap opera of a dating life.

Have y'all ever read The Dating Diaries on The Grid? If you haven't, I highly suggest that you do -- each week it's a new real life dating story that ranges from cringe-worthy to hilarious to kinda sweet.  If anything it'll make you feel a little bit better about yourself, because some of these people legit be cray.  And then I think, oh hey...these posts sound eerily like my life.

In a nutshell, 2013 = date-a-palooza.  No joke y'all, I had been setting up 3-4 dates a week for a good part of this year.  I think I've dated every single man in the city of Toronto by this point.  Oh, and a couple from Mississauga too.  And yes, so my married friends and even some single friends are probably rolling their eyes at me right now because I sound super complainy...but y'all! It is truly exhausting to date...that much.  Think about it, getting all dolled up to make a great impression, hold witty and intellectually stimulating conversation, and then make sure that you're not mixing up the dudes and calling them the wrong name...lol, just kidding.  I actually do an awesome job with keeping all the suitors straight; it's my friends who get frustrated at me because they can't keep track of who I'm talking about...mostly because some of them have the same names. Well, that's not my fault!  Apparently I should've supplied them all with charts with head shots and stats in advance prior to relaying any stories. Next time, I'll consider it.

But obviously it's about quality and not quantity.  So when I stumbled upon a blog post from CollegeStreetCloset about a Dating Detox it got me to thinking if I should give it a try.  Here are some reasons from this week alone that make me think I should just hibernate from all guys for a little while:

• Today, my ex-boyfriend messaged me on Facebook (at 4 AM) to tell me that he deleted my phone number because he thinks I hate him. Um, o....k?!  This coming 2 weeks after he had legit called me 20 times, including some from my condo call box at 4 AM on a Saturday morning...I woke up to texts   asking if he could stay over.  Um...what the?!
• On Monday, a guy that I had been dating for a while, but then who had not reached out to me for the past couple of weeks came out of the woodwork to let me know that he missed my 'pretty face'.  Then I accidentally texted him a message meant for my best friend...which talked about a guy I had gone out with in the interim that dude number 1 was ignoring me.  The text named dude number 2 and how he had asked me over that night.  Whoopsie.
• On Tuesday, I hung out with dude number 2, which was lovely...however, I found out that he had at one point hit on a friend of mine (before he realized we were friends and before he asked me out) and he realized because of Facebook. Effing Facebook...
• Right now, a guy that I dated in January is texting me randomly out of nowhere, which he likes to do every week, and I don't understand why....

So...based on this week alone, what do y'all think. Is a 'dating detox' a good idea?