Do y'all have them?
I think the common definition is a guy who is usually more than a friend but less than a relationship, someone you keep on backup when you need them. Sounds horrible doesn't it? Like when all else fails, call your backup guy and he'll make you feel better -- he won't be your Mr. Right, but he'll boost your ego and distract you from that jerk that you REALLY like who treated you like crap.
Ok, so I don't have one specific 'backup guy', but what I have noticed through all my dating disasters lately is that I've been getting over the jerks pretty quickly (obviously after some major dramatics to my friends, and a lot of questioning about wtf happened to guy x or guy y...but pretty quickly nonetheless) because I'm easily distracted by other random boys that I've gone on dates with, and have gotten along with, but don't really LIKE LIKE. I mean, they're totally cute and very sweet boys, but just not the one I want to hear from. You know? And it got me to thinking a little bit -- are these backup boys helpful or hurtful to me?
In the grand scheme of things, yes, it's great that I'm able to bounce back quickly. For example, after the horrible date at the Motorcycle & Tattoo show with Divorcee (who I had dated over a month) when he ignored me for 2 weeks (only to message me again after I returned from my trip to Chicago), I had ended up rekindling things with a guy (let's call him Dancer Dude) I had met 2 months prior and even ended up going out on 2 dates with him within those 2 weeks Divorcee was ignoring me. So obviously when Divorcee texted me again out of nowhere, I was essentially unfazed because I was being distracted by Dancer Dude. Then, when things with Dancer Dude slowed down a bit due to his work schedule, I had already gone on another couple of dates with Military guy. Now that Military guy is being all jerky and MIA, I've gone ahead and schedule a couple of dates next week with some other folks (Dancer Dude has asked to be scheduled in as well). Endless cycle of backup guys.
But at some point, being distracted by the backup guys is really just a mind trick -- and I'm going to run out of the backup guys to keep distracting me at some point! So what happens then? Do I recycle? Because inevitably, based on previous experience with the BOOMERANG BOYS that I date, I'll end up with some sort of drama from an 'ex' who had decided he wants to canoodle again.
So, what do y'all think - is the reliance on backup guys a help or a hindrance? Or is it TRULY time for a Dating Detox?
Hmmm. I think backup boys can be good, but over-reliance on them is bad. I know that's kinda non-committal... but yeah. I guess the key is not continuing to go out with people you don't really like that much just for the sake of going out with someone? Ain't nobody got time for that.
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