#twilighttuesday 2K13

So last year, my best friend and I coined the term 'Twilight Tuesday' (and no, it has nothing to do with the teenie bopper vamp movie/books...as in 'Twilight Zone') because randomly all of the craziest things seemed to happen to both of us on a series of Tuesdays throughout the year.  It ranged from bizarre twists that happened at work or just some out of the ordinary things that would happen with our fam and friends, but then the term ended up applying to our relationships.  For me, it obviously tied back a number of times to those pesky Boomerang Boys that I talk so much about.

One example of a specific Twilight Tuesday happened last summer.  I had been dating this guy, we'll call him Basketball Ted -- giant dude, 6'7, obviously used to play basketball in college, and now worked in the Financial District.  We had gone on like 3 dates and had been talking non-stop via message every day, and this particular Tuesday we had plans to go on a date.  And of course, I did not hear from him at all that day so he obviously was ditching my ass (spoiler alert, he eventually became a Boomerang Boy earlier this year).  So then, my bestie being as awesome as she is, came to my rescue and we went out to a patio together.  Well, we had the most random and fun night -- turning lemons into lemonade, baby!  We saw some NHLers on the patio, had some fruity beverages, and then out of NOWHERE this guy that I had dated  before my #Kryptonite ex messaged me.  Doctor Dave was this super cool guy who lived close to me and we got along super well, but because of timing (he was a resident at the time) our schedules never matched and we didn't really get to go out all that often.  In fact, he'd randomly call me from the on-call room at like 2 AM, but after a while that's not as much fun as actually seeing the dude.  So anyway, does he not call me and then we catch up for like an hour on the phone!? So interesting.  All because of this random #TwilightTuesday.

 Well ladies & gents, today is another of those Tuesdays.  Goalie Boy is this guy that I had dated at the beginning of the year - in fact we spent New Year's Day together - and we really had such amazing chemistry.  He took me on a super romantic date to Second City and I had a teenage moment with him, totally making out on the DWA at Bloor Station. (Seriously, who does that??) Anyway, after a while things fizzled with him as well, and we would keep messaging back and forth, but nothing ever really came of out.  Cut to the past couple of days, where he's been messaging me randomly.  And not the creepy, 'let's hook up!' type of messages, but actual conversations back and forth. Totally unexpected.  Well, so we do a little textual flirting back and forth:  basically he calls me sexy and I tell him that he's totes hot, and obviously he knows it.  He replies, 'Thank you, that puts a huge smile on my face' and I go, 'haha, whatever you know you're a babe!' and he goes 'well I know I'm not hideous, but I've never been called that before'...um, wha???  So then I go 'well, you are. so embrace it!' and he goes 'how am I a babe, Mel?' and then asks me after that 'Anything I need to improve?'

Ok. What?  Like I said. #TwilightTuesday

Frustration station #argh

So, this past weekend I had another boomerang situation.  And honestly, I am getting a little tired of it -- it is SO frustrating.  Why do guys always decide randomly out of nowhere that it's cool to come back to stir shit up?  Guaranteed if I EVER did that to any of exes, I'd totally be written off as crazy, but for them it's just no big deal -- how completely selfish of them!

Let me backtrack.  Last year I had dated...well let me put it in quotes, 'dated'...this guy who I thought 100% was the most intriguing, gorgeous, interesting, intense person ever.  He had a really interesting life story, played college bball and was unbelievably sexy (heyyy, tattoos).  I can't even create a name for him because he was so many random things, it's hard to classify! Well, little did I know that he had also dated a friend of a friend a few years back, and had been a total jerk to her - not just then, but a few years later after they'd been broken up for years.  So, of course my lovely friend warned me about his douchery, but also let me figure out for myself what I needed to.  Well, like a zebra doesn't change his stripes, a dbag doesn't lose his douchery even after a few years.  Anyway, after a roller coaster of emotions and total 'non-dating' for almost 6 months -- seriously, so much drama I couldn't even handle it -- it eventually just fizzled.  Last October, I ran into him randomly at Yonge-Dundas Square legit crossing the street, we gave each other the  head nod and kept walking -- and that was the last time I'd seen him.  He deleted me from Facebook as well.

So out of nowhere he messages me this weekend to say 'hey, we lost touch. say hello sometime.'

ARGH.

Intrigued I message back and we do the little banter dance back and forth.  Then I finally get the real reason he was messaging...oh yeah, how obvious is this.  He wanted to know if I'd be down for a 'cuddle and a catch up'...very polite way of saying a hook-up, but the same sentiment nonetheless.

NO I DO NOT WANT TO CUDDLE AND CATCH UP.

GO CUDDLE YOURSELF.

ARGH.

The end.

ARGH.

Obviously I'm a sucker.

So remember how I was telling y'all about Military Guy a couple of weeks ago?  If you don't, basically what happened is that I thought he was a really cool, hilarious guy -- not exactly my type, but I was completely attracted to his personality, and was willing to overlook the physical (not that he was uggo or anything, haha just not my super tatted up jock type).  ANYWAY, he legit went MIA. And then texted me for a booty call.  Um, no thanks, not my style. So when I said 'NO' to him coming over, I thought that would be the last of it.

I clearly do not realize that I'm usually wrong.

Out of nowhere today I get a text from him.  Again, he said something to the effect of 'how can I hang out with you if you never reply to my texts?'  Deja vu.  THEN, when I don't respond, because I'm at the gym and my phone is chilling in my locker he messages me again -- this time it's 'ok, I get the hint. It was great hanging out with you. Hope to see you around pretty lady :)'

This is where I've found that I'm obviously a sucker.

I clearly respond because that message made me feel bad.  I HATE when guys go MIA, and I would typically always reply to guys, even if it is to decline politely or say, sorry I just don't think we're a good fit...or something like that.  But I just hate the thought of someone thinking that I'm a bitch or rude on purpose - I don't ever mean to be, and I also don't want that bad karma.  BUT seriously, I never got any texts -- what is the likelihood these days that you don't get a text someone sends? Come on, I'm not stupid.  And to be honest, I was really just upset that my ego was bruised. I actually don't even want to entertain the possibility of seeing him again.  He ain't for me...gotta say, there's a type for a reason.

But of course he blames his phone for acting up.

Y'all. Can you see how I'm so frustrated?  Like this is the junk that I have to deal with!  SERIOUSLY.

No thanks. Buh bye.

So it turns out Military guy's only reason for messaging me last night was for a booty call.   No, sorry, I would not like 'for a visit from a guy in uniform' at midnight on a Wednesday.  Thanks, I'm good.

Seriously??

How do you go from someone who seems like the most unassuming and tamest of men to a giant doucher?  Well, obviously I was very easily fooled, and he was clearly a jerk all along.  And here I was thinking I had matured by not going for someone solely due to matching my 'type' or swooning over muscles and tattoos.  Dudes are going to be douchers undercover no matter how you package them up!

I will say that I'm so glad I got the last word and got to reject his requests.  My last message was just "NO".  What a dirt bag.  No thank you. #buhbye.

ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME??

Y'all.

My life is legit a soap opera.

So remember how I had posted about how Military guy had ACTUALLY gone MIA on me?  Amidst all of my drama-rama around the ex-boyfriend  (aka #kryptonite) -- with me contemplating if I should or should not message him, running through the various pros and cons in my head, and consulting all of my friends about what I should do -- do I not get a random text message from Military guy?!  AND...he had the balls to say, "How am I supposed to make you my next secret mission if you never get back to any of my texts? lol"  UMMMMM....excuse me, I'm pretty sure you have ignored me for a week.  I have not received a peep from him, and he's gonna go and play like I'm the one not getting back to him. PLEASE CHILD.  I was not born yesterday.  If you're gonna go MIA and try to get back in the game, at least OWN UP to the shady missing stage. #dbag

AND of course, after all the aforementioned contemplation and consultation, I did reply to the ex.  OK, STOP JUDGING ME!!!!!!!!!!  Anyway, I asked him WHY? Basically, I wanted to know why he wanted a fresh start -- we had tried before, and it didn't work out.  I asked what's changed.....

His response?  "You're right. I'm sorry."

ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?!

That is not an answer. What a cop out.  My response to him?  "That's all you got?  Ok.  Obviously nothing HAS changed." #boom

Listen people, I  know you're shaking your heads at me saying I shouldn't have messaged him, but I have to tell you -- I'm glad I did.  I owed it to myself to see.  And hey, it showed what I have known for the past 2 years anyway...kid hasn't changed one bit. UGH.

Omg, he's soooo famous!

OMG, y'all!

So in February, I went out with this super tall and muscle-bound, tatted up dude....um, big surprise.  If you know me, you know I have a type and this guy was pretty much the epitome of it.  That is...until I went out with him.  Up until the date, we had texted a lot back and forth, and he seemed down to earth and like a funny kid.  He even texted me a countdown to the date throughout the day...starting at 7 hours and sent a cute happy face every couple of hours as they passed.  How could you not get all melty at that, right?

Well....what seemed so promising quickly went spiraling down the toilet the minute he opened his car door and started driving.  I immediately crack jokes about how I'm probably taller than him (clearly super false because dude was a good foot taller than me, but my funny way to tease a dude) and have bigger muscles than him (again, clearly false times 1000 because dude was jacked like whoa).  But um...yeah, he didn't think my jokes were funny...so I kinda sat there just listening to him tell me random things as we drove to our destination   

We had planned on going bowling and just being silly.  What ended up happening is he wanted to go to VIP bowling lanes (did you know this existed? I sure did not) at this place near Yorkdale and when we arrived the VIP lanes were obviously filled up with teenage boys and girls getting their bowl on (as they would on a typical Saturday night), and there was no room for us.  Again, because dude was a good foot taller, each stride he took was like 5 of mine, which inevitably had him walking about 5 paces ahead of me.  Um, awkward.  And then as I ran full tilt through the bowling alley in my heels to catch up with him, I overheard some teeny bopper go "OMG THAT DUDE IS SO BIG!" as they passed by him.  Seriously teens, inside voices. 

Ok, so since our plans were kiboshed, he decides to take me to Milestones for some grub.  Sweet, because at that point I was dying for a wine, a giant vat of wine.  So we sit down, and y'all I kid you not, he proceeds to tell me how famous he is.  And this being Toronto, I'm intrigued because there are a lot of shows filmed here and I have run into a fair amount of actors from shows here and there. So, for a good 2.5 hours, I sat through him telling me how he's been in such and such movie with such and such super A list actor...how A list actor is really a doucher and how he's probably going to get turned into an action figure and how paps already follow him around because people know him. He's kinda a big deal.  Except remove the word 'kinda' and replace it with 'fucking coolest, and that's probably what he was thinking. So, clearly, as this was unfolding, my head was trying to wrap around the fact that I did not recognize him from television....like not even a little...AT ALL.  And if you know me, you know that I  legit watch super random shows including CBC Canadian shows that only 2.5 people watch and I can be your personal IMDb filmography guide.  BUT SERIOUSLY. I HAD NO IDEA WHO THIS DUDE WAS.  AND HE WAS ACTING LIKE HE WAS GEORGE EFFING CLOONEY. 

I don't think he asked me one question.   As soon as he was done his meal, I jumped out of the booth and ran into the car.  I probably held my breath the entire time just to see if I could pass out and not have to listen to him.  So he gets to my place, and I legit unbuckled my seat belt before he stepped on the brakes, threw the door open and yelled something like "that was fun, byeee" and JUMPED out the door.  Omg, so horbs.  BUT THEN I GET A TEXT MSG 15 MINUTES LATER WITH A PHOTO OF HIM AND SOME ACTOR (who I did recognize because he was a legitimate famous actor).  Haha, needless to say, I didn't reply...

CUT TO TONIGHT....

I just got home from a super long, but super productive work day.  I flop on the couch, turn the tv on and LO AND FREAKING BEHOLD.  I catch a commercial teaser for some show on Channel 39...and HOLY SHIT, it's super famous tall dude!  He was not shitting me...he's on the television.  Ok, I didn't actually doubt that he was an actor. I just didn't think he was sooooooooooooo famous.  Lol, guess in his head he was??

Bahaha, oh man.

#boomerangboys

Everyone has one.  That ex that no matter how hard you try to shake 'em, they keep coming back. And coming back. Oh, and coming back.  One night over drinks we coined the term 'boomerang boys' to describe these guys...mostly because in my particular case, it's EVERY GUY that I have EVER dated.  Ok, maybe that's an exaggeration, but I would say probably 95% of the dudes I've dated decide they want to get back with me anything from weeks to months to years to decades after they dated me (see this post, bullet point #1 for an example).  Um...why?? I don't get it.  What is it that keeps them coming back? Why did they not realize when they were WITH me how awesome I am? (lol)  Why do they think it's OK for them to keep coming back?  So many questions. #mystery

Another question: Why am I bringing this up?  Well, at 9:25 PM I received a text message from a dude that I went on ONE date with like 2 months ago.  He said: "Well.  I'm assuming you didn't lose your phone twice!"

Ok, so no, obviously I didn't lose my phone.  And I feel for the kid, I really do, because this is totally a tactic that I would use if I wanted to hear from someone I haven't spoken to in a while.  But being on the receiving end of this one text in particular, it made me feel kinda bad -- like, obviously I don't want to be an asshole and not reply (my mom always taught me to be nice), but at the same time, I don't really want to chat with him or hang out with him, so I don't really feel like I should reply because it would end up being really annoying and innocuous back and forth which I know will lead nowhere.  And I honestly don't want to lead this dude on -- he's a super nice guy, very interesting, and very smart, but there was just no chemistry.  And I'm a sucker for going on chemistry (which is going to be a post soon, keep an eye out).

So what would y'all do in this situation -- would you write him back to be nice? Or risk more boomeranging by replying? #dilemma

#saywhat?

So as y'all can tell by the title of my blog alone, I'm a girl from Georgia who moved up to Toronto more than 5 years ago.  Having grown up in Atlanta, I obviously have lots of roots in the South - friends and family and history back home.  As part and parcel of that history, I have a number of exes who live in and around the Southeast region.  Makes sense, right?  Well, what doesn't make sense is that these exes 1) like to get back in touch with me constantly and 2) continue to ask me to see them again (whether it's them visiting me or me visiting them).  Is this a normal occurrence out there in the world? Or is this literally just a me thing?  Because I gotta say, i just don't get it...why waste time contacting someone who you'd legitimately need a valid passport to visit? Seriously dudes...#saywhat?