ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME??

Y'all.

My life is legit a soap opera.

So remember how I had posted about how Military guy had ACTUALLY gone MIA on me?  Amidst all of my drama-rama around the ex-boyfriend  (aka #kryptonite) -- with me contemplating if I should or should not message him, running through the various pros and cons in my head, and consulting all of my friends about what I should do -- do I not get a random text message from Military guy?!  AND...he had the balls to say, "How am I supposed to make you my next secret mission if you never get back to any of my texts? lol"  UMMMMM....excuse me, I'm pretty sure you have ignored me for a week.  I have not received a peep from him, and he's gonna go and play like I'm the one not getting back to him. PLEASE CHILD.  I was not born yesterday.  If you're gonna go MIA and try to get back in the game, at least OWN UP to the shady missing stage. #dbag

AND of course, after all the aforementioned contemplation and consultation, I did reply to the ex.  OK, STOP JUDGING ME!!!!!!!!!!  Anyway, I asked him WHY? Basically, I wanted to know why he wanted a fresh start -- we had tried before, and it didn't work out.  I asked what's changed.....

His response?  "You're right. I'm sorry."

ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?!

That is not an answer. What a cop out.  My response to him?  "That's all you got?  Ok.  Obviously nothing HAS changed." #boom

Listen people, I  know you're shaking your heads at me saying I shouldn't have messaged him, but I have to tell you -- I'm glad I did.  I owed it to myself to see.  And hey, it showed what I have known for the past 2 years anyway...kid hasn't changed one bit. UGH.

#kryptonite

Ok, so y'all know that I have a history of boys repeating on me. You know the type, those Boomerang Boys who come back out of nowhere when you least expect it and disrupt your lives, mess with your head and just make you crazy.  UGH. So frustrating.  Frustrating because I just want to say "LEAVE ME ALONE" and "GET THE HELL AWAY!" but then it becomes the vicious cycle, right? Like the minute you do say those things, that's when they take the communication to mean an open door to even MORE communication -- just when you really want them to actually go away and leave you alone.

Well, folks, last night my kryptonite came back out of the woodwork.  I had previously mentioned him in my first post on this blog again (first bullet point), so you guys get an idea of what he's like.  Comes back every few months when it is convenient for him, or when he has some issue that he thinks I will be able to fix, wreaking havoc and messing with my head.  Another vicious cycle that has been happening for the past 2 years. 2 years!!! 

A few weeks back, I just snapped when he messaged me out of the blue at 4 AM, oh yeah...after having come over to my place and calling me like 20 times.  So I finally just decided I needed  to do something, because obviously my completely ignoring him wasn't sinking in.  It was SO tough for me but I just wrote him this message essentially telling him that he was being completely inappropriate and how he treats me is so disrespectful and most of all selfish -- I am, afterall, NOT his girlfriend anymore. Get the hell away.  So after I had sent it, I felt this huge weight off my shoulders -- like a sigh of relief after holding my breath for the past 2 years.  But it was also a bit sad for me because he was a guy I had really been in love with, and I thought that this message would definitely signify the end of his contacting me.

Well, I guess I was freaing wrong about that.  Out of nowhere he messages me again last night.  This time, asking me for a 'fresh start'.  A chance again. UGH.

Like I said, he's my kryptonite.  I KNOW I should just either ignore it, or repeat the message I had so carefully worded last time around but perhaps with a 'FUCK OFF' thrown in for good measure.  BUT part of me is getting all melty inside...remembering all the reasons I fell in love with him to begin with, and clearly completely forgetting about all the crazy shit he put me through that broke us up.

WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?

SERIOUSLY.

HELP!