So in February, I went out with this super tall and muscle-bound, tatted up dude....um, big surprise. If you know me, you know I have a type and this guy was pretty much the epitome of it. That is...until I went out with him. Up until the date, we had texted a lot back and forth, and he seemed down to earth and like a funny kid. He even texted me a countdown to the date throughout the day...starting at 7 hours and sent a cute happy face every couple of hours as they passed. How could you not get all melty at that, right?
Well....what seemed so promising quickly went spiraling down the toilet the minute he opened his car door and started driving. I immediately crack jokes about how I'm probably taller than him (clearly super false because dude was a good foot taller than me, but my funny way to tease a dude) and have bigger muscles than him (again, clearly false times 1000 because dude was jacked like whoa). But um...yeah, he didn't think my jokes were funny...so I kinda sat there just listening to him tell me random things as we drove to our destination
We had planned on going bowling and just being silly. What ended up happening is he wanted to go to VIP bowling lanes (did you know this existed? I sure did not) at this place near Yorkdale and when we arrived the VIP lanes were obviously filled up with teenage boys and girls getting their bowl on (as they would on a typical Saturday night), and there was no room for us. Again, because dude was a good foot taller, each stride he took was like 5 of mine, which inevitably had him walking about 5 paces ahead of me. Um, awkward. And then as I ran full tilt through the bowling alley in my heels to catch up with him, I overheard some teeny bopper go "OMG THAT DUDE IS SO BIG!" as they passed by him. Seriously teens, inside voices.
Ok, so since our plans were kiboshed, he decides to take me to Milestones for some grub. Sweet, because at that point I was dying for a wine, a giant vat of wine. So we sit down, and y'all I kid you not, he proceeds to tell me how famous he is. And this being Toronto, I'm intrigued because there are a lot of shows filmed here and I have run into a fair amount of actors from shows here and there. So, for a good 2.5 hours, I sat through him telling me how he's been in such and such movie with such and such super A list actor...how A list actor is really a doucher and how he's probably going to get turned into an action figure and how paps already follow him around because people know him. He's kinda a big deal. Except remove the word 'kinda' and replace it with 'fucking coolest, and that's probably what he was thinking. So, clearly, as this was unfolding, my head was trying to wrap around the fact that I did not recognize him from television....like not even a little...AT ALL. And if you know me, you know that I legit watch super random shows including CBC Canadian shows that only 2.5 people watch and I can be your personal IMDb filmography guide. BUT SERIOUSLY. I HAD NO IDEA WHO THIS DUDE WAS. AND HE WAS ACTING LIKE HE WAS GEORGE EFFING CLOONEY.
I don't think he asked me one question. As soon as he was done his meal, I jumped out of the booth and ran into the car. I probably held my breath the entire time just to see if I could pass out and not have to listen to him. So he gets to my place, and I legit unbuckled my seat belt before he stepped on the brakes, threw the door open and yelled something like "that was fun, byeee" and JUMPED out the door. Omg, so horbs. BUT THEN I GET A TEXT MSG 15 MINUTES LATER WITH A PHOTO OF HIM AND SOME ACTOR (who I did recognize because he was a legitimate famous actor). Haha, needless to say, I didn't reply...
CUT TO TONIGHT....
I just got home from a super long, but super productive work day. I flop on the couch, turn the tv on and LO AND FREAKING BEHOLD. I catch a commercial teaser for some show on Channel 39...and HOLY SHIT, it's super famous tall dude! He was not shitting me...he's on the television. Ok, I didn't actually doubt that he was an actor. I just didn't think he was sooooooooooooo famous. Lol, guess in his head he was??
Bahaha, oh man.