Monday, May 13, 2013

It's seriously just 'research'

I love social media. Think about it, with Facebook and Twitter, I can keep up with friends and family all over the world with a quick click -- I know all the people getting married, having babies, getting married for the second time, having their second fact, I think I know more about these people now because of social media than I think I ever knew about them when I was closer to them.  I'm able to keep up with everyone and their updates so easily because it's all just there in my news feed. Even with new friends and new people you meet, it's so great to be able to connect on Facebook or Twitter and instantly keep in touch.  So easy, so much information, so good! Right...?

Except when it comes to the guys I'm dating. Why?  Because for some reason, becoming connected via social media - typically Facebook - all of a sudden exacerbates my crazy.  Seriously.  Facebook makes me a stalker, and I rationalize it by calling it 'research'.  Except it really just makes me insane.  Legit.

So recently, this guy I was dating decided to add me to Facebook.  We went on a number of dates and it was very promising because it had spanned around a month-ish, so I thought, ok, we're cool, Facebook should totally be fine.  Well, I was wrong.  It turned me into this creeper. Clicking on his profile, going through his wall comments, clicking from one photo to the made me speculate as to who all the people were who were commenting, especially the girls.  Like why all of a sudden did I become an irrational person who would curse out loud "Jessica, who is Jessica and why is she posting all of these YouTube videos on your wall?! I HATE JESSICA!"  My mind immediately went there -- I had already villainized poor Jessica and turned her into this man-stealing skank -- when really she could've been his 22 year-old cousin who was studying to be a nun.  But of course, dramatic as I am, naturally there was no talking me down from this crazy.

In an effort to save my sanity, I decided to make it so all updates from him were always hidden.  Ignorance is bliss afterall.  Sanity restored!

Which was awesome because things eventually went south, and the 'relationship' went from promising to clearly nonexistent.  To this day, he still randomly comments on things or 'likes' them, but I am a happy little hampster who hasn't come across a photo, status update or post, and I'm totally fine with it.  So, the guy after this one also added me to Facebook, but for some reason I was 10 levels less crazy, and really didn't do much creeping, other than to check out some profile photos.  Ok, full disclosure, dude also has 95% of his posts in another language...but still, give me a little win here. lol

Anyway, fast forward to now.  New guy I'm dating has very little social footprint.  I'm talking super hidden Facebook profile, no Twitter at all, barely anything when I Google him.  And it's not because he's not up with the times or he has some deep-seated hatred against social media.  He just has a job where it is better all around for him to have very little presence, and I respect that.  Except when the curious little cat inside me wants to check him out a little bit more.  Like, what are his friends saying on his wall?  What kind of pics does he have up? What does his older sister and her hubby look like?  All things I wonder, but I can't really find out -- like back in the day -- until we get to the point where he shares it with me.  See, the way social media works is great, but it also makes all of your information and details about you just remain out there in the world for people to find.  Whatever happened to finding out all of these great things organically FROM the person you're friends with/or dating, rather than creeping and knowing ahead of time?

I guess what I'm saying is that, my natural compulsion - like everyone else's - is to creep and get some insider info right away, but it's actually really refreshing that I cannot do that right now.  Instantly, it'll make me seem less 'crazy' and best of all, it won't drive me insane with every 'like' or wall comment from a girl.  Yes, I realize it's 2013 and guys are allowed to have multiple friends who are girls.  I just don't want to know about them.  Cross your fingers that this one sticks, people, because so far so good -- I already have a leg up in this inability to 'stalk' so, let's hope it all continues to go as well....

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