2013 IN REVIEW #Daaaamnnnn

As 2013 rolls to an end, I thought I'd revive the blog to post a wrap up of my crazy year.  I know I'm a big slacker and haven't written in 6 months, but better late than never, right? ;)

This year has definitely been a roller coaster of dates, almost-relationships, canoodling, crazy exes, lovely new friends, and much more -- ok, so it may not have ended up the way I thought it would, but I don't think it would be me if shit hadn't shaken out the way it did.  I learned a hell of a lot about myself, what I really want, what I really DON'T want -- and so what if it meant I kissed a lot of frogs (hot frogs, but frogs nonetheless)??

So what happened this year? Here goes...

• Started off 2013 with an AWESOME date on January 1st with a gorgeous hockey player
• A week later, he took me on a super romantic date and had my first super romantic make-out at Bloor/Yonge Station. lol
• When it didn't work out with that guy, started dating another guy with the same name who also used to be a hockey player. Yeah, it was confusing for my friends.
• Sometime in February, I went out with an actor (recapped in this post) and to this day, it still makes me chuckle to think about how awkward that date was.  I also went on 2 dates in 1 day in February -- short month, I had to.
• March brought the Divorcee disaster of 2013 - that lasted on and off for a while...til like July. Until one last date that was supposed to happen, dude legit texted me a thousand times then cancelled 1 hour before because his friend had to come over to 'hide from the cops'. Um. No thanks. #buhbye.
• April was lovely hip hop dancer dude.  Such a sweet guy who still messages every now and again, and it continues to make me feel bad about not being as good a dancer. My friends think this guy is super hot -- which he is -- sadly, I'm just not into it.
• In May I met Army Dude, we dated, it was good times and then he disappeared.  Only to reappear in September, when we went on a few dates and I realized it was better when he disappeared. Camo does wonderful things.
• May also brought back the ultimate boomerang boy aka Kryptonite.  Though I never hung out with the dude (thank goodness), he still really enjoyed calling, texting, messaging about a million times. Ugh.  It's been radio silence from him for at least the past 2 months. Thank goodness for small wonders.
• I also tried to take a break from men in May. It didn't last very long.
• In June, one of my besties got hitched and I was lucky enough to be one of the bridesmaids. Around the same time, another boomerang boy came out of the woodwork from 2012. It was hilarious.
• July meant shorts, mini dresses and tanning.  It was also when I started dating Runner guy, who was super sweet - also just not my guy.  Lasted til mid-August, but I just felt more friends than anything.
• I don't want to talk about late August and early September because it was a recycle that was ultimately a let down, so yeah. Just not gonna talk about it.
• Back to school also meant back to Army Dude. Also just wasn't into it, which meant it was ok when I didn't hear from him. So. Yeah. BUT, I also started seeing Personal Trainer #1 who told me amazing stories from Thailand where he was a boxer and showed me super cool music videos. He still texts me to this day, I probably should tell him I'm not into it anymore. Hmm.
• Sometime in late September, I felt the need to pack my calendar with activities -- so in one particular week, I went on 4 dates with 3 different guys.  It was exhausting. I haven't recovered. 
• October and early November was Personal Trainer #2. I fell for this dude, hard....so much in common but also SO NOT MY TYPE.  I think that got in the way for me, ultimately -- great canoodling, but I also realized he didn't actually listen to what I said (which clearly hurt my feelings because I require a lot of attention), so there goes that.
• December brought Bun Guy -- yes, I think dudes with long hair who put it in buns are so hot. I don't know why, I just do.  And it's so funny because I went from a bald guy to a guy with hair longer than me, but whatever.  ANYWAY.  So he is emotionally unavailable, and literally ran away from my house at 9:30 at night, which still makes me laugh.

Omg, what a year.  I don't even know how I will have energy for 2014, but dammit am I looking forward to it.  Cheers to a new year, y'all!

xo,

Mel

#twilighttuesday 2K13

So last year, my best friend and I coined the term 'Twilight Tuesday' (and no, it has nothing to do with the teenie bopper vamp movie/books...as in 'Twilight Zone') because randomly all of the craziest things seemed to happen to both of us on a series of Tuesdays throughout the year.  It ranged from bizarre twists that happened at work or just some out of the ordinary things that would happen with our fam and friends, but then the term ended up applying to our relationships.  For me, it obviously tied back a number of times to those pesky Boomerang Boys that I talk so much about.

One example of a specific Twilight Tuesday happened last summer.  I had been dating this guy, we'll call him Basketball Ted -- giant dude, 6'7, obviously used to play basketball in college, and now worked in the Financial District.  We had gone on like 3 dates and had been talking non-stop via message every day, and this particular Tuesday we had plans to go on a date.  And of course, I did not hear from him at all that day so he obviously was ditching my ass (spoiler alert, he eventually became a Boomerang Boy earlier this year).  So then, my bestie being as awesome as she is, came to my rescue and we went out to a patio together.  Well, we had the most random and fun night -- turning lemons into lemonade, baby!  We saw some NHLers on the patio, had some fruity beverages, and then out of NOWHERE this guy that I had dated  before my #Kryptonite ex messaged me.  Doctor Dave was this super cool guy who lived close to me and we got along super well, but because of timing (he was a resident at the time) our schedules never matched and we didn't really get to go out all that often.  In fact, he'd randomly call me from the on-call room at like 2 AM, but after a while that's not as much fun as actually seeing the dude.  So anyway, does he not call me and then we catch up for like an hour on the phone!? So interesting.  All because of this random #TwilightTuesday.

 Well ladies & gents, today is another of those Tuesdays.  Goalie Boy is this guy that I had dated at the beginning of the year - in fact we spent New Year's Day together - and we really had such amazing chemistry.  He took me on a super romantic date to Second City and I had a teenage moment with him, totally making out on the DWA at Bloor Station. (Seriously, who does that??) Anyway, after a while things fizzled with him as well, and we would keep messaging back and forth, but nothing ever really came of out.  Cut to the past couple of days, where he's been messaging me randomly.  And not the creepy, 'let's hook up!' type of messages, but actual conversations back and forth. Totally unexpected.  Well, so we do a little textual flirting back and forth:  basically he calls me sexy and I tell him that he's totes hot, and obviously he knows it.  He replies, 'Thank you, that puts a huge smile on my face' and I go, 'haha, whatever you know you're a babe!' and he goes 'well I know I'm not hideous, but I've never been called that before'...um, wha???  So then I go 'well, you are. so embrace it!' and he goes 'how am I a babe, Mel?' and then asks me after that 'Anything I need to improve?'

Ok. What?  Like I said. #TwilightTuesday

Frustration station #argh

So, this past weekend I had another boomerang situation.  And honestly, I am getting a little tired of it -- it is SO frustrating.  Why do guys always decide randomly out of nowhere that it's cool to come back to stir shit up?  Guaranteed if I EVER did that to any of exes, I'd totally be written off as crazy, but for them it's just no big deal -- how completely selfish of them!

Let me backtrack.  Last year I had dated...well let me put it in quotes, 'dated'...this guy who I thought 100% was the most intriguing, gorgeous, interesting, intense person ever.  He had a really interesting life story, played college bball and was unbelievably sexy (heyyy, tattoos).  I can't even create a name for him because he was so many random things, it's hard to classify! Well, little did I know that he had also dated a friend of a friend a few years back, and had been a total jerk to her - not just then, but a few years later after they'd been broken up for years.  So, of course my lovely friend warned me about his douchery, but also let me figure out for myself what I needed to.  Well, like a zebra doesn't change his stripes, a dbag doesn't lose his douchery even after a few years.  Anyway, after a roller coaster of emotions and total 'non-dating' for almost 6 months -- seriously, so much drama I couldn't even handle it -- it eventually just fizzled.  Last October, I ran into him randomly at Yonge-Dundas Square legit crossing the street, we gave each other the  head nod and kept walking -- and that was the last time I'd seen him.  He deleted me from Facebook as well.

So out of nowhere he messages me this weekend to say 'hey, we lost touch. say hello sometime.'

ARGH.

Intrigued I message back and we do the little banter dance back and forth.  Then I finally get the real reason he was messaging...oh yeah, how obvious is this.  He wanted to know if I'd be down for a 'cuddle and a catch up'...very polite way of saying a hook-up, but the same sentiment nonetheless.

NO I DO NOT WANT TO CUDDLE AND CATCH UP.

GO CUDDLE YOURSELF.

ARGH.

The end.

ARGH.

Obviously I'm a sucker.

So remember how I was telling y'all about Military Guy a couple of weeks ago?  If you don't, basically what happened is that I thought he was a really cool, hilarious guy -- not exactly my type, but I was completely attracted to his personality, and was willing to overlook the physical (not that he was uggo or anything, haha just not my super tatted up jock type).  ANYWAY, he legit went MIA. And then texted me for a booty call.  Um, no thanks, not my style. So when I said 'NO' to him coming over, I thought that would be the last of it.

I clearly do not realize that I'm usually wrong.

Out of nowhere today I get a text from him.  Again, he said something to the effect of 'how can I hang out with you if you never reply to my texts?'  Deja vu.  THEN, when I don't respond, because I'm at the gym and my phone is chilling in my locker he messages me again -- this time it's 'ok, I get the hint. It was great hanging out with you. Hope to see you around pretty lady :)'

This is where I've found that I'm obviously a sucker.

I clearly respond because that message made me feel bad.  I HATE when guys go MIA, and I would typically always reply to guys, even if it is to decline politely or say, sorry I just don't think we're a good fit...or something like that.  But I just hate the thought of someone thinking that I'm a bitch or rude on purpose - I don't ever mean to be, and I also don't want that bad karma.  BUT seriously, I never got any texts -- what is the likelihood these days that you don't get a text someone sends? Come on, I'm not stupid.  And to be honest, I was really just upset that my ego was bruised. I actually don't even want to entertain the possibility of seeing him again.  He ain't for me...gotta say, there's a type for a reason.

But of course he blames his phone for acting up.

Y'all. Can you see how I'm so frustrated?  Like this is the junk that I have to deal with!  SERIOUSLY.

In hiding...(#hideme)

3 weeks.

In 3 weeks there are a LOT of things that will happen: Chantelle & Brent's wedding; my trip to Cuba with cousink Alex; and then, of course, my birthday.

Every year when I think of my birthday, I always think things will be vastly different from the year before.  While a lot of random things have happened in between birthdays, nothing has changed hugely from last year.    So maybe it's time to figure out what I can do to make a change?

3 weeks isn't much time, but maybe I can kick start it after I get back from my trip?

Really what I want to do is go in hiding.  I'm not joking.  I am so frustrated with dating these days.  For the past couple of weeks a lot of random guys have come out of the wood work, seemingly leading to some interesting and positive prospects.  Really, I just got super let down by them.  That said, I legit just think it'll be better of for me to steer clear of all guys -- old and new -- for the next month and see what happens?

While I'm not usually a proponent of hiding from things -- I'm more of a face the challenge and learn from it type of gal -- I think this is probably the best approach for me.  Dudes are getting me down, and I just want my birthday month to be full of fun, great memories, amazing friends.  Am I crazy for wanting to hide?

When is too soon to be introduced to a dude's friends?

So, when you're just starting to date someone new, when is an appropriate time to introduce the guy or girl to your friends?  Is there really an appropriate time?

To me, I've always thought it's somewhat of a big deal to intro a new suitor to my friends -- I try to avoid it, because let's face it, my friends are judgy. Lol, no I mean, they just want the best for me, so I think they tend to be critical of the guys I date and I do love them for it.  However, because of the kind of guys that I like, I sometimes just know that the poor guy will not be received well...or my friends will just be super nice and tell me after the relationship has crashed and burned how the poor guy was just not a good guy.

Anyway, the reason I ask about this is because I just wonder how big of a deal is it.  Do guys think it's a big thing to introduce friends to girls they're seeing, or is it their way to see how they'll hold up against the friend test?

So, a couple of months ago I went on my second date with Divorcee dude and I was introduced to his best friends that night -- like, I was NOT expecting to be thrown into that situation so soon.  Then last night, I went on an interesting date -- I was introduced to the guy's roommates, who happen to be 2 girls.  Which was totally cool, they were super fun chicks and I got along really well with them.  Then when we went out, I was then introduced to some of the dude's good friends.  Like, the entire time I was thinking, 'what has he told them about me?'

Pretty much that's my biggest hang up about the entire meeting-friends-so-soon thing.  What are they telling their friends about you at that point?  I mean, the friends on both occasions were actually all so welcoming and sweet, and let's face it - I work in PR, I can pretty much talk to anyone about anything, so there's not much to worry about on my end.  But for me, on the second or third date, you yourself aren't sure what you really feel about that other person yet, and then throwing friends into the mix I think complicates situations entirely.

I don't know -- I just think a second or third date is a bit too soon!  I want to be all melty and excited about spending time with that guy on those first few dates.  There's plenty of time to meet friends if that person is going to stick around.  Shouldn't it be something that you ease them into?

Just my two cents. What do y'all think?

No thanks. Buh bye.

So it turns out Military guy's only reason for messaging me last night was for a booty call.   No, sorry, I would not like 'for a visit from a guy in uniform' at midnight on a Wednesday.  Thanks, I'm good.

Seriously??

How do you go from someone who seems like the most unassuming and tamest of men to a giant doucher?  Well, obviously I was very easily fooled, and he was clearly a jerk all along.  And here I was thinking I had matured by not going for someone solely due to matching my 'type' or swooning over muscles and tattoos.  Dudes are going to be douchers undercover no matter how you package them up!

I will say that I'm so glad I got the last word and got to reject his requests.  My last message was just "NO".  What a dirt bag.  No thank you. #buhbye.